The Manchester United forward scores a penalty. It’s the last kick of the game. Arsenal are out of the F.A.Cup. A science-fiction story? Perhaps a hazy memory from the 1970’s? No. Amazingly enough, the above bizarre incident occurred just a few days ago.
What has this got to do with the park bench?
Well, just seconds after the ball hit the net, I received a message from Mark. Would I like to write a Blog? BLOODY HELL, NO! But instead, I thanked him for asking and told him that it would be a privilege to do so. The truth is that Mark is concerned about my mental health. Not as much as I am – but I know that he is. It’s not terribly personal. He cares about of all of us. It’s just that some of us struggle more than others. Anyhow, I digress.
The timing of Mark’s request won’t have been an accident. He’ll have assumed (understandably) that United were going to be humiliated (again) and knocked out of the Cup. He’ll have figured that I might have needed a virtual hug. I should point out that it’s not only Manchester United that affect my mental health, but there’s certainly a high correlation. Mark empathises with my plight. So much so that he swapped his red, white and black Manchester United scarf (happily worn by him through the 1960’s and 70’s) for that of a blue, white and yellow one. I’m not sure what that particular (controversial) decision did for Mark’s mental health, although saving petrol money was no doubt part of his reasoning.
Mark wrote: ‘I think you know Paddy.’
Me: ‘Paddy Callaghan?’
Mark: ‘Yes.’
The thing is that Paddy and I know of each other very well, even though I’m not entirely sure that we’ve ever met. It’s possible that we were separated at birth, but I have no proof of this. More importantly, we had a great mutual friend – Robert Crabb – who died prematurely, just a few years ago. Everyone loved Rob. I hope that we thought to tell him so. It’s possible that we didn’t – and hence why it’s so important that we all need that park bench (metaphorical or actual). Please tell someone that you love them NOW – and not after they’ve gone to that great Huddersfield Town Cowshed in the sky. Any road up; back to Paddy…
Rob told me a story once, which I very much hope is true. Whether it is or not, I’ve never forgotten it. He said that this friend of his (‘Paddy Callaghan’) used to say: ‘Music is better than football!’ They had a 3rd member of their particular triangular friendship group (I don’t recall his name) who would ascertain that: ‘Football is better than music!’ Note that these were intelligent grown men. Rob looked at me perplexed when he told this story. “The thing is, Tommy, that I like football and music!” You’d have to have seen/heard Rob telling this simple tale over a pint or 2 to realise how ridiculous it was – but at the same time, incredibly funny.
So, why do I tell this story? Many of you reading this won’t be interested in football. You’ll not comprehend the concept of losing money/sleep/hair/job prospects and more for the sake of Huddersfield Town Football Club. You’ll certainly not understand how any sane individual can be made happier by a Manchester United goal. My first time? Saturday 16th October 1971. Georgie Best at the Stretford End. United 1-0 Derby County (Derby going on to be the eventual League Champions). Not that it’s important or anything.
I think Rob was asking me to understand that it wasn’t just about him loving football and music equally. I understand that completely. I love music. Football? It’s an addiction. It makes very few people happy. But it’s a big part of my life. There – said it! I’ve taken a long time to get to any important point or conclusion here. I think that Rob – like me – wanted his close friends to like all the things that he liked. Football and music! But it doesn’t stop there, does it? It’s about sharing with each other all the things that we love – and also the things that we do. How, for instance, can Mark, Andrew and I look so happy when climbing out of an icy lake? It’s not just the fact that Mark might have recently slipped back in again (picture a beached seal at Scarborough) after being attacked once more by a goose and/or swan…although that always increases our collective mirth. It’s about sharing precious time with those that we care about.
So, it doesn’t have to be football; music; open-air swimming; supping Guinness; cycling; sipping coffee; going for a walk – although all of those are great activities to share. It’s about taking the time to talk to one another. To actually meet up, face to face. I’m as guilty as anyone, and perhaps guiltier than most. How many times do we all say or write: ‘We’ll have to meet up for a pint (or a coffee) very soon.’ We mean it of course, but then another year goes by…and it hasn’t happened.
Well, it’s January 2025! Please make plans to meet someone very soon – before it’s too late. I met some lovely folk at the memorial service for Rob. However, I’d rather have had him there in person to hear the lovely things that we all felt about him. Just do yourself a big favour; don’t arrange to meet at the football. Paddy was right.
Music is better than football! 😊
